thefuture.net Climate Porn – George Monbiot with Tits

There’s a new movement afoot to make us aware of the danger facing the planet. It’s called thefuture.To get an idea of what it’s about, I do recommend you watch the video at

It starts with an image of a very pretty boyish face, perched on a neck bizarrely painted blue, trying on what is obviously a very uncomfortable white helmet, and my first thought was: “Hello, they’ve hired a top director for this one, and like all top directors he’s gay and couldn’t resist using a pretty boy to get over whatever the message is going to be.” Then fifteen seconds in the camera pans down to breasts and then up to pained pouting lips. It’s not a boy, but a gamine, a very young-looking boyish-looking girl, and we see drips and understand why the helmet is so uncomfortable – it’s made of ice. In France it’s called Gel Bait.

Then we get a closeup of an armpit, breasts again, and feet. Then a view of the torso which explains the blue neck. The nude model is painted all over in blue with green patches, representing Our Planet. As the camera pans slowly down we wonder whether we will witness climate chaos in the shape of catastrophic bush fires in the southern hemisphere. Alas, no. Around about one minute forty seconds in she takes off her icy helmet and the credits come up, explaining what it’s about. They say (in small letters, no caps, American Typewriter Bold)
the ice caps are melting
thefutureisrising
http://www.thefuture.net
That’s it folks.
The clip is titled “ICECAP” (The Future) NSFW.”
“Icecap” to me is the title of a rather useful climate sceptical site. “NSFW” had me baffled (New South fucking Wales?) but Wiki came up trumps:
“Not suitable/safe for work (NSFW) is Internet slang or shorthand. Typically, the NSFW tag is used … to mark… material such as nudity, pornography or profanity, which the viewer may not want to be seen accessing in a public or formal setting such as in a workplace.”
Well, quite. Who would want one’s workmates to know that one had been downloading images of under-age girls with painted nipples? Or of Bob Ward with a white circle painted round his right eye?
Because the big thing at thefuture is to get us all to paint a circle round one eye to symbolise something. Here’s why:
The Eye is The Future’s symbol. A large circle drawn around the eye which means, according to
http://thefuture.net/disruption-kit/
We are connected:
We unite with a circle drawn around our eye to fight for our future.
We are the watchers:
We judge the powerful when they do not act to protect the future from climate change.
We are the creators:
We refuse to be victims. We create our own world.
Your eye:
Draw the eye in makeup, facepaint, marker pen, anything that works. Choose any colour and make it a thick, fierce circle around your socket. Look full of hope and fury.
Take a photo or film yourself. Post your Eye on Facebook
Their eye:
Choose a photo of anyone you think should belong in our tribe or of people who should be branded with the eye for their failure to protect our future. Go here to find out how to draw a digital eye.
If you join us we will tell you when our culture and our politics requires disruption. At these moments we want you to deploy the eye in real life and online.
This is your symbol and you can wear it anytime and anywhere you want. Show that you are full of fury whilst watching the people in power who are destroying our future. Wear the eye anywhere, at festivals or parties, when you are amongst our tribe. People will ask why you are doing it. Tell them.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I was going to finish with a joke about the fact that this site and its resolute avoidance of the normal clichés of left militancy and NGO earnestness is a good example of what we marketing persons term Russell re-Branding. But, stap me vitals if there wasn’t a link to a Russell (Brand, not Bertrand) video tacked on to the end of it. So instead I’ll finish with a link to

* * * * * * * * * * *
I’ve got a half-written article, provisionally titled “The Nazi Thing” or possibly “Hitler was Wrong”, about the furore caused by Tim Ball’s article at WUWT which quoted Mein Kampf. I wanted to discuss rationally what it is about the climate question which tempts us to make absurd comparisons with fascism. It’s obviously nothing to do with the comportment of the thoroughly decent chaps at the IPCC or the GISS or the Met Office or the Hadley Centre or the journalists at the Graun, who wouldn’t hurt a fly (if only in the interest of maintaining biodiversity…) I was going to cite some names, until I noticed that several had a Germanic or East European sound to them, and I thought better of it.
Sweet Gaia, what a filthy suppurating sore we have here. Is it a symptom of our diseased imagination, or does it indicate a real infection?
But it itches, and we must scratch it.
(On the ice helmet in the video: the reason the poor girl looked so pained was not because of the perils threatening our planet, but because a couple of kilos of ice on your head is FUCKING FREEZING.)
atchoo.

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4 Responses to thefuture.net Climate Porn – George Monbiot with Tits

  1. alexjc38 says:

    One of the more bizarre items in the parade of bizarreness that is thefuture.net is the Jehovah’s Witness-like visit by a couple of Eye-bedaubed activists to the home of Michael Gove, to tell his probably rather puzzled wife and daughter that Gove should’ve let Amber Rudd go to COP20 in Peru, and then to read to them excerpts from not The Watchtower but bestselling novel The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

  2. Alex
    Thanks for the tip. I missed your comment, it being the festive season. I’ve been back to thefuture’s news section, and the Gove event (11th December) is the last thing that happened there. Perhaps I’ll check up on some other sites I’ve commented on. It would be nice to think I had some malefic effect on the people I comment on. If they’re anything like me, they may take a morbid interest in where their visitors are coming from. Given that these are not exactly hugely frequented sites, even a few visits from here might be discouraging to sensitive souls.

  3. jamspid says:

    Geoff not wishing to appear rude but in the first video is that supposed to ice or seaman dripping off his hat.

  4. Jamspid
    Not wishing to be rude, I think you’ve been frequenting too much of the wrong sort of internet.
    I know all about that. I’ve been collecting pictures of ballet dancers for a project on this blog and was frustrated by the fact that 90% of my hits were of ladies in tutus, so I googled “male ballet dancers” and was surprised by what I got. Some sites, like http://sexymaleballetdancers.tumblr.com/
    were perfectly normal, while others often with less arresting names, were distinctly odd. I’d heard of lycanthropy, but not lycraphily. And you’d be amazed at the search items people enter in order to arrive at an article which has the words “porn”, “tits” and “George Monbiot” in the title.

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